~ Wednesday, September 27, 2006
~
tell me why am i so useless, will you?
please tell me why?
rachel should die.
/ Moonlight / 2:23 AM /
tell me why am i so useless, will you?
please tell me why?
rachel should die.
/ Moonlight / 2:23 AM /
~ Monday, September 25, 2006
~
i chose to stand strong in you..
i pray that as your people have spoken, that you'll indeed reveil your perfect plan in your time.
i will wait for you..
[grant me that strength that comes from above]
/ Moonlight / 3:31 AM /
~ Tuesday, September 19, 2006
~
C.O.N.F.E.S.S.I.O.N
my walk with God has not been exactly the best. i mean as much as i would like it to be, it just never turns out well. i guess it's the mixture of guilt and prehaps unbelief? i mean i know for sure that God is always there. there's no questioning about that! but when i was stuck, i often wondered if God would lift me up. no doubt he has the power! but would he help someone who isnt even worth it? would he help a sinner like me?
E.N.L.I.G.T.H.E.N.M.E.N.T
"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." [Mark 2:17]
"The time whereby you really dont feel like praying is the time whereby you really need prayer." -pamela
T.E.S.T.I.M.O.N.Y O.F G.O.D'S G.R.A.C.E
last last sunday, i was debating with myself as to whether i should be attending service or going home to study. it's always like that especially when the exams are nearing, and what more prelims?
"Honour God and He will honour you!" -aunty grace
"God will never shortchange you!" -uncle jeffery, fiona
these two statements kept running through my head as i debated with myself.
finally, i decided that God must come first and hence i stayed through the service. and indeed, God is good! He brought me through all my papers especially my social studies paper! ((=
although i did not really mug for the social studies paper at all. in fact, i really studied only two out of the many chapters. it was so risky that i secretly decided not to count it at all. xP but thank God, both chapters came out! ((=
"God is faithful to the faithful." -rachel xP
U.P.O.N R.E.F.L.E.C.T.I.O.N
as a result of my drawing away from God, i got "involved" in many unwanted misunderstandings and conflicts which i am somehow unable to pull myself out of. it's a really awful feeling knowing that you did not do it and yet nobody seems to believe you or rather you did not do it but yet you are unable to explain or clarify yourself.
then, i felt super helpless. it's like "please tell me why this is happening?" but yet everything continues without a reason. but then again, God never let anything happen for no good reason.
hmmm, and as my relationship with several people turn for the worse, it's really like WHY? on top of that, they are not just any ordinary person, it's usually people whom i care alot about and would never want to lose. it's really upsetting to see everything fall apart and "sorry"s are being used as glue.
last sunday was the last straw. i tried my best! i really did! but they thought that i wasnt serious enough. they thought that i did it reluctantly. i tried explaining myself, only to find tears flowing faster than words. i understand that all was said for the benefit of the entire community. but if you put yourself in my shoes, things would be seen in a different light. but then again, you guys are probably thinking "if only the youths can see things from here." sighh. i guess we'll leave it to God for the time being la.
hmm.. but thankfully God sent someone to clarify my WHYs. this sister was really understanding on the whole issue. she took a very neutral stand but yet she got all that is to be understood really nicely. simply "WWJD"! (= "as long as you are accountable to God!" yup! thanks pam! (=
later i read Isaiah 50, and got 4 points out of it:
1) wait on God and be sure to hop on the wave when it comes!
2) do not doubt God!
3) live for God and God alone!
4) Fear God and not man!
i guess that really answers everything! (=
Praise God! ((=
A S.P.E.C.I.A.L S.O.M.E.O.N.E
and just as i was talking to someone whom i have not seen or spoken to for a long time, i was thinking of all that she has done for me and is doing for me. i felt super touched by the fact that despite the distance, she still cares. the fact that she got up early to accomodate my timing when she made a call from the US. the fact that she has been praying for me. the fact that she is there for me! (= yup. this lady is none other than my mentor, dorothy ching! (= [once my mentor! always my mentor! cant bear to address you as ex-mentor! xP]
hmm. it is my honour to know her and have her as my mentor! (= and i must add that the way she lives her life for God is a really good testimony! and i hope that in future i would be able to inspire young christians just as she has inspired me! ((=
[heeee.. i'm missing you alr. xP]
[takecare baby doll. xP i'll be praying for you too! ((=]
P.R.A.Y.E.R
1) i pray that this girl whom i have been spending quite a fair bit of my time with, will come to church and eventually accept Christ. (=
2) i pray that my friend will stay strong despite all the troubles and messiness in life, that he may emerge stronger than it all with God as his pillar of strength! (= Lord, be with him as he takes his prelims. (=
F.O.R N.O.W
i just wanna live a life so that i may be accountable on judgement day! (=
/ Moonlight / 8:36 PM /
